I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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