Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
