He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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