Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
