I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
