He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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