Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
