yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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