okay pat passed out under dana's car
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize