Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
