i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The uberlube is also flammable
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
