i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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