don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So gin and wine won't be happening again
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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