I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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