And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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