how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
