Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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