Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
