there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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