Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
