help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
