i will never coherently bang her
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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