3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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