It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
