no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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