remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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