We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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