I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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