eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I love you.
Bad choice
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
