She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
