im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
