your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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