You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
