He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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