Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize