that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
