I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
