I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
false alarm, still single
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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