remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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