It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
