I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize