If that was your dad, he is hot
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
cat food counts as protein by the way
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
