I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
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But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
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Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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