I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
