scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
