Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
