fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?