no, he came in my armpit
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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