How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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