Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize