Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
