I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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