No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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